Seasons and motion: Viet Nam

22

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 11:35:49 GMT

This afternoon I went to the typical photocopy place I go to and did the normal, uncomplicated habit of getting copies. There'd been a new kid working there (I say "kid" because he can't be any older than 12), and we've been having some communication problems. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it's got me thinking about what I should do with me studying Vietnamese.

Strangely enough, the problems are from either the number 10 or intervals of 10. First was him saying 10 in Vietnamese and showing 10 fingers at the same time. Since he didn't have a reason to expect a foreigner to understand Vietnamese, that was nothing new. Then, today, his learning curb was challenged when I said "22" (hai muoi hai/hai mươi hai). Not a hard number to pronounce, given it's all flat-toned, but he thought I was trying to give a fancy way of saying "24" by saying "2 x 12." If I wanted that, I'd just say "hai tu/hai tư" and be done with it, but this is all the magical game of perception: he just thought I didn't know to drop the falling tone with 12 (muoi hai/mười hai) when numbers reached 20 or higher.

Still, perception or not, I realized "I should probably get some kind of plan with studying Vietnamese pretty soon," but I'm at a bit of a standstill.

Until then, me and the photocopy kid may soon be resorting to elaborate games of charades, even though we'll both actually be speaking the same language.

Welcome back to "school"

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:31:47 GMT

Well . . . crap. Maybe this is to be expected, maybe not, but my return to "teaching" here seems to be in the fashion that greets life as a foreign teacher.

First, I need to say for background that all of my specialized, higher-level English classes were taught in the afternoon throughout last year. That was the assumed period of the day for this semester, so that's when I took the periods to occur this year. Little did I know they were actually in the morning. Who knew this? Apparently everyone did, student and teacher alike.

I bring that up here because this morning, as I was casually drinking coffee and getting ready to make photocopies for the class I was intending to teach this afternoon, I send a text message to the monitor of that class to see if she got my e-mail that included the syllabus. After a couple of texts later, she says she'll send it in the afternoon, and that will be for class next week. "But we have class this afternoon," I think. Low and behold, after a few phone calls, no, we do not.

So . . . yeah. I'm not happy about this, but I'm not COMPLETELY surprised by it, either. On now my fifth year as "the foreigner," I know that's life as a foreign teacher, and I understand how it's very easy to get left out or to have others assume "oh he knows" or "somebody already told him, I'm sure." Still, though, for the first week???

It's like you get psyched up and ready to get rolling, only to find it's for nothing.

Sinking in while settling in

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:45:16 GMT

I've finally accepted the "I'm back" mentality, as I'm finally seeing myself mentally prepared for the coming year. It didn't really involve anything during training time the week before, but simply admitting I'm ready. Most of it was setting aside work and year-old lessons to be looked at and readied, and *GASP* benefiting from my time reading a grammar reference book. I could've gagged as that dawned on me.

Still, and maybe I shouldn't be too shocked by this, I've found myself accepting this will be my last year. Not overseas, but very likely my last year in Viet Nam. I've not been greeted by the desperation that can be called "intentionality." A mere quiet, subtle realization sinking in. Even the reality of an eventual year in the US afterwards began to feel more real. I haven't started impatiently longing towards that, but the dots seemed to connect today.

I've generally been a slow learner, haven't I? Or maybe that's just the speed I process stuff.

Here, and not

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:26:34 GMT

I woke up this morning at around 7 AM. I opened my eyes, and slowly looked around, greeted by the unexpected feeling of dismay. "Am I really here? How did I get back to Viet Nam? To Ha Noi?" Thoughts like that drifted in and out of my head as I lied there, not entirely grasping how I was back in a country for what is now my fourth year, my fifth in Asia. It wasn't the sparkling sense of estrangement: just dismay. "How did I get back here?"

Perhaps this Summer moved by very quickly, or maybe I've spent so much time out of my own mind that I hadn't deeply considered what it'd feel like to return. I think my acceptance of it got mingled with a quiet sense of fate. "This is what I'll do." I don't feel like this is simply an obligation I'm fulfilling or resigning myself to, but it's just become . . . casual, maybe? "I'm here. Okay. Move on."

I don't know. Before I left the US, I got the sense "this is going to be a different year, even a difficult one." Maybe, maybe not. Just have to wait and see, I guess.

In unrelated news, I returned to find the not totally unexpected mildew, but also mysterious looking pellets inside some areas of my wardrobe. There was also a lot around the corners of a painting I'd stored in there that I don't know how to clean off. Now, I'm pretty sure it's not a rat because nothing was utterly decimated and there was not gnawed through portion of the wardrobe: the pellets simply there there. When I took out the playing cards I usually incorporate into my classes, the much older set of cards seemed to have been eaten away/broken down along the sides. I'm not sure if this is a type of mold or bacteria, but a little weird nonetheless.

If you can't stand the heat . . .

Tue, 27 May 2008 11:29:14 GMT

get over it! You chose to live there. All that to say Ha Noi is getting hot, but the biggest thing is the humidity. The most technical term I can think of to describe the feeling is "icky." Even with doors closed and the A/C on, the humidity persists, so it's kind of like your skin just accepts a certain level of salt content from the sweat and eventually stops causing trouble. What that means, of course, is feelings of nastiness, and a strong desire to get washed.

I'm sure you really wanted to know about that.

Cockroach judgment day

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:07:53 GMT

At around 9 AM I heard what sounded like a large humidifier outside. Given I was having some time for reflection, I didn't think much else of it, though it seemed to travel about the premises for awhile. Come sometime later, I went out to do my laundry and noticed a peculiar site outside. Several cockroaches were on their back, some were twitching and some were still. I unlock the door to the common room leading into the laundry room, and see a similar site inside, as well as inside the laundry room. As I've only ever had one cockroach siting in my room this school year (of which I'm very thankful that's the only one of account), this was a little bizarre. Sure enough, walking around campus, it's peppered with still or twitching cockroaches.

As effective as whatever they sprayed was, I can't help but wonder the physical effects it has on people.

Big C blowout

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:20:19 GMT

In Ha Noi there is a supermarket, and in that supermarket there are a lot of things to buy. That store is called Big C, and it's probably been in Ha Noi for a few years (it's never been very important for me to do any sort of research on the store), so enough time to inform the residents of Ha Noi about the many things that can be bought there. I go there maybe once a week, usually just to visit their bakery for some bread that tastes like bread, and maybe a baked good that tastes like . . . something. I experiment, let's say.

Since before I first went to the store, there'd generally always been communicated a sense of pandemonium about being there. This is especially true on the weekends, but is still the case on the weekdays. I'm unsure what it is about the store, but it's like the people who frequent there are mesmerized by the vastness of what's available. Like taking a kid to Toys-R-Us, people go from region to region, shelf to shelf, picking up some things, setting them back down, and maybe even putting them in their cart. Then they move onto another part of the story, find something they like more, and put what they picked up someplace else in that other area, whether it should go there or not. This cycle continues on in this fashion up to the cashier's desk, where whole piles of stuff might be cast aside because they don't want it or can't afford it. Maybe this happens to a certain degree in the US, but at Big C it's rampant.

It would seem to make sense to add things up, make a grocery list, and know what you really need. Instead, It's sort of like people go to Big C for the experience of plentitude, to have because maybe they can. On the darker side of this, it's led to wastefulness or stealing. Though maybe this is allowed, I see people who have baguettes or bags of other stuff eating away at the bread or popping open bags. I'm unsure whether they actually pay for these things, or even notify the cashier, because I've seen sections of baguettes strewn about on distant shelves throughout the store. Other times, I walk by areas and come by food packages people have opened up, removed some food, and left it there, now good for nothing. I came across a bar of chocolate and a box of cookies a week ago that someone had done that very thing. Honestly, the first thought I had was "they're acting like rats" because of how rats here snitch food whenever they can. On other times, I've noticed food that very obviously needed to be refrigerated out in the open, spoiling, like yogurt (originally a set of four with one missing), and even some fish out front beside a closed cash register. Is it so hard to return things to where you got them?

I've tried to understand or rationalize the choices that lead up to this. A part of me wonders if some people who live here are simply so hungry that they resort to what ultimately amounts to stealing or wasting food. Another part of me wonders whether it's simply that fact of people not knowing what to do when they see so much, and not being responsible with how they handle it. A smaller thought I haven't entertained as much is maybe people just don't care and don't feel a reason to take into consideration what they're doing. What I am pretty sure of is the supermarket has to be losing money. With so much food being wasted at such a scale that there's evidence everywhere--and before the eyes of people working--it seems impossible to consider profits being made.

Then again, the possibility remains about whether the store managers themselves are actively doing anything about this. I can only imagine this has been the way the store has operated since it opened, and, given it's been in Ha Noi for probably a few years now, the level of acceptable behavior has been set. Given how so much money is finding its way into the country with the divide been rich and poor taking leaps and bounds, maybe I shouldn't be surprised . . .

I have become a dairy product.

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:57:50 GMT

"Hello Cheese!" the young man said as I stepped out of the cafeteria this evening. I'd met him just the other night as he was trying to get me to express my apparently-latent emotions about a friend of mine (there are none beyond friendship), and now he has granted me the title of a food high in calcium. I suppose I might feel better if he elevated me to the level of a strategic board game unlike checkers.

I'd generally always been some sort of a fixture at the student cafeteria because of my "cooking deficiency," let's say. I've been able to meet some folks I normally wouldn't meet, but usually it's basically just sit-and-eat. While I know students of mine will eat there at different times, seeing them is often hit-and-miss, which means most of my conversations are fairly random and seldom planned. So, aside from students and friends, that leaves me with people mistaking me for a hunk of cheddar, and some just a hunk.

Yes, the cafeteria serving ladies have come to call me handsome. They don't quite think I know what they're talking about--given I typically don't refer to myself that way, so my spoken Vietnamese becomes even more garbled and beyond their comprehension--but I do. It started a few days ago when I heard a slightly older woman who puts rice on the plates chide the younger serving lady, "There's your lover!" I don't quite remember such an arrangement being made with my consent, but, according to the cafeteria serving lady gossip column, I am now a young cafeteria serving lady's lover.

So, now I am given amused looks and grins by this slightly older lady who calls me "tall and handsome," and the younger one becomes bashful. And me? I continue to eat my dau phu, rau chit, and rau cai, with some variation there, soaking up as much of the "ignorant foreigner" stereotype as I can so to go about my business.

Some firsts with karaoke

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 15:07:43 GMT

Tonight I was included in some celebrations for International Women's Day with first-year students from one of my speaking classes. Not atypically, it involved karaoke, and I was astounded to see the mix of English songs. The ones I sang/attempted were "New World Man" by Rush (really unexpected, so I had to try it, though Geddy Lee sings a bit high in places), "Fields of Gold" by Sting, "Danny Boy" though it wasn't like the recent one Johnny Cash did, and "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police (though some lyrics definitely didn't apply, there are very few occasions where I feel like I should tell people that). Here were the other songs I was impressed to see and noted down as potential choices. They're not the usual karaoke fare:

"Roxanne" by The Police
"Daughter" by Pearl Jam
"Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America
"Africa" by Toto
"Baby, Now That I Found You" as sung by Alison Krauss and Union Station
"Can't Stand Losing You" by The Police
"Closer to the Heart" by Rush (I was very close to singing that)
"Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" by The Police
"If I Ever Lose My Faith in You" by Sting
"Red Sector A" by Rush
"Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.
"Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton
"Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes
"Heart of Gold" by Neil Young

Ah, yes . . . It was a rich night for English karaoke songs in Ha Noi.

Pictures as I procrastinate

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:56:16 GMT

There are a few semi-constructive things I could be doing, but I figure I'll send a few photos from the past month instead.

Reinitiated!

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 13:45:42 GMT

I can't say I'm too surprised to find that my first week back is a reinitiation of the curious quirks of scheduling and such. It's definitely not at the level of grandeur as with Da Lat and having a different schedule every week (same classes, but different teaching times and classrooms). Either way, it's kind of nice to know I'm officially back.

I had a class assigned periods 1-3 and another for periods 3-5, so I optimistically thought, "Ah, those are probably in the morning and afternoon, because there's an obvious schedule conflict there." Low and behold, I now learn they're actually both in the afternoon, and there is in fact a conflict. That means the first class will need to be moved by the following week, and we'll just have a two period class tomorrow, taking the missed period onto the following week's class.

Better I find this out now then tomorrow morning, after I would have woken up at 5 AM and strolled over to the classroom building at 7 AM, looking for a nonexistent class. No cup of coffee would have overcome such misery . . . well, except for maybe another cup. Joking, of course.

"Welcome back," as it were!

And I'm back.

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:40:43 GMT

Ugh . . . This is just a simple passing note to let any who would read this that I'm back in Viet Nam. There's nothing deeply reflective or meditative--I'm simply tired. I'll probably post something a little more as a heads-up on what I've learned about the future, but not know.

Until then, happy lunar new year, and here's a touching photo to let you know I'm well.

A Tale of Three Christmases

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:16:06 GMT

I'd been able to look back a little bit, almost at the past few posts or so that I'd written, and realize they're sort of oddities alongside the view of the season we're moving out of now (depending on where to put the 12 days of Christmas onto January 6th). They'd been inward and reflective, not entirely wrong for Christmas, but not an overt showcase or pageant of "Christmas."

So, that brings to these immediate days after Christmas. Has Christmas bared up the image of the nativity, or are there stronger connotations of the Saturnalia event that originally cradled the date of the 25th? Oddly enough, it seems to be a return to those latter roots, albeit the nativity is what we can datelessly celebrate. Still, I've felt like the 23rd to the 25th have been three Christmases encircling this holiday for me, and they might be worth sharing.

Christmas Eve Eve evening involved my being included on an outing planned by students. It was to begin at the cathedral in downtown Ha Noi, and conclude with karaoke. We weren't singing karaoke there, but we probably could have gotten away with it given the circus surrounding the cathedral. It was bustling with people selling balloons, food like cotton candy, and miscellaneous Christmas-like things to be photographed while the cathedral doors remained firmly shut. At first I was a little bothered by the doors being closed, but I wonder if that was more of a response to what happened outside the building and became a sentiment adopted over time. If the doors were open, all we'd need then are some money changers and some doves, and I'd have kept my eyes open for a Figure gripping a whip, ready to pounce. This is something where I realize the way we project the meaning of Christmas to other countries can be reflected in how they view the holiday.

Then there was singing, a motorbike ride along dark roads, night, and the next day: Christmas Eve. The 24th was probably of the more ordinary of days. I had an afternoon class related to Christmas, and then would return some things to another class right after that. What put a bit of a damper on things was the good fortune of receiving a long-awaited package from my grandparents, but having to pay a "customs fee." I hadn't paid one for the past three packages, and now I had to do it. All the same, I eventually got the package, and stored away the goodies. After class came 4 PM, and I rode with a xe om I trust named Dung to the Hilton Hotel to practice the music for a Christmas Eve service held there with the international fellowship. Such was good and still, though that changed the pace we'd practiced for the songs. As I didn't have my camera, no pictures.

Then there was more singing, a 150k dong taxi ride later (ggrrrrr), night, and the next day: Christmas. I woke up knowing it was "Christmas day," yet I wasn't wholly moved by the experience. The morning still seemed so subtle and quiet to me, feeling like it was and wasn't Christmas at the same time. My inner-Grinch wasn't peeking out, but it just felt . . . unusual. The morning was curious enough for a man of my personality, where about 30 students came over for a simple time to sing songs, attempt a "White Christmas"/"Dirty Santa" (whatever you want to call it), then conclude with a reading of the Christmas story in English and Vietnamese.

Come the late afternoon and into the evening, a get together with other foreign teachers remained quiet and peaceable, although I'll admit within I felt quieter than usual then. I'm not sure why, but it's one of those experiences I have time and again of words being more unusual than silence. It's a sentiment I've tried to learn from lately: beholding the holy. Though unplanned of me, it felt appropriate given the event remembered on the day.

In that light, would I call this Christmas good or bad? Probably neither. How does one treat a holiday qualitatively? Mine was defined by differences, leaving simply the meaning of the day at the end of it, which is where that puts me now.

Christmas

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 10:16:15 GMT

I guess I'm getting somewhat prepared with Christmas being this Tuesday. Earlier today I was out and got a few things that could pass as decorations, though I'm a bit limited with that I can hang, given my walls are concrete and just aren't very forgiving to nails. So, one side of my room has lights hanging off whatever is available to hang off, and the other wall . . . well, it's barren. I've tried to get permission to nail in a big painting I was given by a student here for the past month, and I don't get the impression the foreign guest house care-takers (is the best way I can describe their job) are necessarily bending over backwards for a nail. All the same, it's something for Christmas!

It's been a little unusual having things grind to a halt in different ways this Christmas. Maybe that's prompted further with what typically goes on during Christmas: spending time with people. Christmas definitely isn't just a social event, but it's good to share it folks. Planned get togethers are okay in their own way, yet I've missed the spontaneous visits I used to experience in general in Da Lat. Is it busyness, or lack of availability on either end? I don't get the impression I've presented myself as some fortified wall, so I'll assume gentler reasons for that and see if there are ways I can be more intentional next term.

Yeah, it's a semester's end, and everyone's a little out of it. Posted in advance, I hope your Christmas is a merry one.

On a side-note: I'm a little surprised/disappointed that the Aliens VS. Predator movie is coming out on Christmas day. Kind of drives home to me how the day's meaning isn't remembered like it should be. I'll admit I've sent some Hellboy 2 e-cards to people as my own reaction to Santa being given first billing on Christmas, but aliens on Christmas day???

Teachers Day, thi truot, and a five-day weekend . . .?

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:55:25 GMT

Curious observances this week . . .

On one end, though Vietnamese Teachers Day is on the 20th, this week's being an extended celebration of that has left me with the sense of this being some extended, week-long holiday. In an almost cruel juxtaposition, though, is how this was also the week my first-year students got their mid-term grades back. For many of them, it meant not doing well with listening, doing well with reading, and anywhere in-between with writing. Given it's their first official test of their college experience, some lyrics from The Who's song "Teenage Wasteland" come to mind.

So, what better thing to accompany a thi truot then send many of the students back to their hometowns and their parents who sent them to college. It's unofficially a five-day weekend, as there's no class on the 20th, and there's a general inclination not to have class on Monday, either.

With that, I was observed that I don't go out all that much . . . and it's true. :( Such seems not so much a choice, but happens-chance. I'm definitely not throwing puppy dog eyes at anyone, but I'm not sure how this happened. Wait . . . maybe from hitting the weekends in the past and just feeling wiped out.

What happens now that I'm not wiped out? Heh, I still have a curfew of 9 PM, or whenever the buses stop running. Maybe that's why everyone wants a motorbike . . .

An evening in the life of the Vietnamese TV translator lady

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 08:09:40 GMT

I'd gotten a little inspired with creativity as I overheard the familiar voice of the Vietnamese woman who does the overdubs (female and male) for so many of the foreign entertainment that appears on television here. I began to wonder "what would a normal evening look for her and her husband (trusting she's married)?" Here's what I came up with:

*husband begins to go upstairs* "I'm going upstairs. Can I do anything for you while I'm up there?"

"'Quick! Shut down the nuclear reactor now or it'll explode!'" *click*

" . . . but we don't h--" "'Stop, or I'll shoot!'" *click*

"I was just going to get a change of clothes . . ."

"'You've been out drinking again, haven't you???'" *click*

" . . . I don't know what you're talking about . . ."

"'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing b--'"

"Yes, yes, I did! I actually went drinking last night when I said I was going to the office!"

" . . . Nam, what are you talking about?"

" . . . "

Who let the dogs out?

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:24:43 GMT

Because, whoever did, they're not there anymore. Why? I was walking down the street before dinner and went into a market, at which point I saw a few counters with signs of thit cho on it, the infamous dog meat stands. Now, I didn't have my camera with me (though may later), but here's what I saw. Parents, negotiate young children to yonder parts if they're nearby.

On the neighboring tables were dogs sharing the common bond of dismemberment. Fried up, sections of dog were on wooden chopping blocks. I saw the backside of a dog aimed in the air, the scrawny, fried tail pointing crookedly upwards. How did it do that? Well, because that's where they chopped it off, then laid the level portion. A couple of torsos were also on the block--again they were already fried--and then I saw what was at the end: heads.

You may already have an odd view of me, if for no other reason than my writing about this, but I do want to say seeing the heads really disturbed me. The other sections could just as well be taken as something else, but there's no playing games with the mug of something. The eyes were covered by the eyelids, but the mouths were fixed in a permanent snarl, as the frying had curled the lips above the teeth. I really couldn't look at it because I just kept thinking, "Man, I've petted a head like yours."

Why mention it? Simply, if you have a pet, give it a good petting. I understand about meat being meat, but sometimes the novelty of something wears off. My getting pictures later isn't a means of undermining that, but illustrations.

"Hot town, Summer in the city"

Wed, 23 May 2007 07:21:29 GMT

Ha Noi feeleth of the Summer. I'm trying to remember how Da Lat was this time last year. I think I remember it feeling hot, but moreso from the intensity of the heat than actual temperature. As for Ha Noi, it's a little more in the higher of temperatures than anything else. I can't say it holds a candle to anywhere like HCM City with it's combo of heat and humidity, but it's still something.

It's sort of been interesting as far as the house environment is concerned, given localized A/C isn't the norm. During the evening, I'll turn the A/C on a little earlier than usual, and, when I leave my room, get hit with heat. If I'm outside, there's typically a breeze (and actually blue skies during the day), so the heat is calmed a little bit. There has also been locusts that make their shrill cries at different places during different times of the day.

Though it's not altogether comfortable, I'd still sort of be curious to see what Ha Noi is like throughout the Summer, but I shall have to do without that bit of experience. Being a teacher by trade and somewhere for the Summer, there's not a whole lot to do. Just means I get to have an expensive airplane ticket!

Oh, and I might as well say I'll be teaching at the Foreign Trade University next semester, though am still waiting on little bits of paperwork to get moved through.

Fare thee well, Da Lat . . .

When radio goes wrong

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:07:53 GMT

Since I've been house-sitting again this week, like clockwork, around 5 PM everyday the loudspeakers will blare anything from talk radio to Vietnamese "hits" to Coldplay. When there are people speaking, as it's doing right now, they'll turn the reverb up so that it'll sound like some of those old, cheesy sci-fi movies where the evil character is speaking in an incessantly-reverberating voice.

I don't really know why. I think it must be the Voice Of Viet Nam national radio program. What's weird is that no one really is trying to listen. Not sure if the hopes of this is that it'll subliminally affect people, but it remains a little tiring to hear.

Oh, now there's a patriotic song going with synthesizer horns. Gee, let me grab my flag.

Unrelated to that, I have three more weeks of studying after this week, then a week of chilling and getting ready for my Summer in the US. Looking forward to it!

Okay, so maybe that expectation is related to what's presently blaring!

April 30th

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:36:37 GMT

Depending on where you are geographically in Viet Nam (or the world), today either remembers a "reuniting" or a "fall," yet still the end of a sometimes civil, sometimes international war. Last year, the South just played it as any other vacation. Folks from HCM City would come up to Da Lat and chew the fat there until the vacation was over. In Ha Noi, it's sort of similar, as many people here have gone to their hometowns or vacation somewhere. It doesn't compare to how things get during Tet Festival, but it is quieter here.

What's weird is the uncertain feeling like anything has really been resolved in the history here. One country, two cultures. Quietly--or perhaps loudly, depending on who you talk to--Vietnamese people would admit the same thing. Such predates any foreign involvement here . . .

Rain

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 13:26:56 GMT

Ha Noi has rain! Albeit sporadically, it seems, it's still here. Rain has been something I've sort of waited for and have been happy that it arrives, though it usually arrives later in the evening, when it's not as fun to be about in it. Maybe I'd appreciate what I have with rain if I myself didn't sometimes feel so sporadic, having bursts of behavior at random, undesired times . . .

A Viet Nam day

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 13:23:35 GMT

While I cannot say where I live has been anywhere other than Viet Nam, I could feel that a little more particularly today. Truthfully, I don't think that's because anything significantly different took place. It's just kind of like I got to look around me more and recognize where I was. Sort of like catching the scent of something you haven't smelled for awhile.

I suppose I can say there have been times where I've "forgotten the scent" here, so to speak. It can be easy to get used to what you've got and just keep moving forward, not looking around or experiencing much. May sound a little hedonistic, an elevation of the senses and all, but it's something else be have fresh appraisals of where you are.

I'm not sure of what the future holds, but I hope I don't overlook the scent of the present.

Rubber-necking--this is how we do it on the East-side

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:27:09 GMT

Enough of the "Lucida Handwriting" font . . . wasn't very lucid, anyways . . .

Just had a peculiar scene after lunch today. I was going to grab something light for afterwards, and, as I was turning onto the streetside market area near to where I live, these two women were arguing. One was particularly livid, and the other didn't seemed to be saying very much. While that was happening, everyone on the street had stopped what they were doing and just looked on, even a motorbike stopping at what looked like mid-street (apparently no one's so busy they can't watch a fight). When I asked why they were arguing, no one was able to say why, but they did watch. I guess it's eastern rubber-necking.

At one point, the livid woman lifted a broken board of wood over her head, ready to bring it down on the other woman. Their friends had stopped that from happening, but I still couldn't get what the problem was. I didn't see anything really overturned, except what they did in the tousle of arguing. I can only guess it was verbally provoked. They get impassioned about things nobody else can understand, and then everyone watches.

In other news, I'm going to let my boss-folks know they can move ahead with what they can per going to Da Lat. Still may not work out, but we'll give it a try.

My pre-moistened towelette city

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:45:39 GMT

I'd heard of places in Viet Nam with moisture being humidity linked, but I've not yet experienced the continual moistness that is Ha Noi. Yes, there's been rain, but everything's still moist. I understand it to be a normal thing during the Spring season. I just don't recall ever being informed of it. It was curious when the bathroom tiles stayed moist for more than a day, the towels too, and the hand rails along the stairs. That's just in the house. Outside it is more of the same.

Well, I didn't like being without rain and moisture while in Ha Noi. I suppose this is a form of come-uppance

Door operation methodology

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 11:43:53 GMT

I wasn't aware I was lacking in this area, but, once I returned home from dinner, the home owner pointed out my apparent information gap in the area of opening, closing, and locking doors. I thought I'd share my recently-learned endeavors with my door operations mentor.

Apparently, when you insert a key into a door (not just any place in the door, but the keyhole, you silly-goose!), turning it one way will lock it if it's unlocked, or unlock it if it's locked. Of course, a door will only really lock if they're closed. Also, when shutting double-doors from the inside, you can leave one of the doors in the locked-position and close the doors together, making sure that the locked bolt can fit into the hole for the bolt on the other door. It helps if you have something to keep the doors in place, like a vertical lock (when twisted) that locks at the top and bottom of the door frame, a bottom slide lock that can slide into the ground when over the hole, or both, as the home I live in has. If not, the double doors will just flop open as they please. Remember: you can only do this from the inside, as you can't reach in from the outside-in, unless you wanted to break something.

To think, all my life up until now, I've been opening, closing, and locking doors completely wrong. It's a good thing I've finally been set straight.

Important VN news update

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 08:09:59 GMT

This just in from the Communist Party of Viet Nam website: according to an article there, Ha Noi will be hosting the 17th Assembly of the World Federation of Democratic Youth congress. The Secretary of the Ho Chi Minh Communist Youth Union Central Committee said this would be the first of its kind hosted here (something completely unheard of), and even the General Secretary of the Communist Party of Viet Nam will host a forum on "Viet Nam on the path to socialism." With a theme heading up this Democratic Youth congress like "Let's reinforce the struggle against imperialist aggression and exploitation for peace, solidarity and social transformation," this will surely be a time to inform about "the democratic and progressive youth movements around the world." Why, I even bet there'll be a discussion on the philosophy behind the Magna Carta, a re-enactment of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and maybe even a public reading of excerpts from Plato's The Republic.

Indeed, this will truly be a time to inform one and all about democratic ideals. Why I wasn't invited is beyond me. If you would like bootlegged copies, please let me know. Freedom of the press and all.

Tet/Lunar New Year

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 14:03:28 GMT

Tomorrow is Lunar New Year's Eve, and I realize it'll be my first observed Lunar New Year in this side of the world. I realize it's definitely taken place, but it's not been much of an observation. It's kind of interesting. I see people selling peach flower and quat/mini-oranges trees along the streets, making it look all festive. People will have gift baskets, stores will close down, the banh trung will make it's various appearances, and people will be burning paper offerings to deceased family members outside of homes on the sidewalks.

In the home of the family I stay with, they also have a quat tree, just recently potted and adorning (to me) Christmas lights that are going through their sequence. The reality at least a billion people are celebrating this in the world now makes it one of the biggest holidays the US doesn't really know about. In all the trendiness and "being with-it"-ness of the States, I thought the trend-setters wouldn't want to be left out from what a sixth of the world is doing. I find it's easy to remain ignorant, even in this my third year (three years . . . still a really short period of time in the normal life of a person). I found myself asking questions here and there, mostly asking friends. Some of them it's traditional and still honored, others it's just "something you do."

I'm not sure if that's any consolation to me in how similar that is to the US with its holidays, where importance is weighed by fanfare and price tags. There's aspects of that here, but they're closing everything down. In ways, Viet Nam hasn't hit the consumer-mindset of the US.

I may try and post pictures from the holiday, but it may be all very simple.

Previous postings related, I'm learning further of my pride. May I not shrug brokenness as "the next logical choice."

Erring things out

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 11:17:59 GMT

The pace of life . . . it's weird how routines may never have really changed if never really looked at in the first place. I write that after a few days of being back, seeing (again) that like both doesn't stop for me, nor get resolved, through my absence. People move on, but where I leave things are still returned to. Not that I was thinking otherwise would happen, but it's a quiet, naive hope that "if I change my scenery my heart will change to, and where I return with it!" I find in ways how I did get good time away from life here while in Thailand, but I hadn't dealt with a lot of stuff past that.

One this is sort of like I touched on in my previous post, of seeking approval from others. At the same time, I'll do my own thing, not really seeking if I'm being faithful to convictions, even to the realizations I'd let my convictions turn gray. I don't even know how that happened. I just know I let it. Scary thing, permissiveness. Of course, it took my taking a few trips and falls to see how I hadn't done so very well, and how I let surfacey stuff take the credit for other things going on in my life.

Why put this all under the "Viet Nam" category? Because it changes my life here. My relationship with the Vietnamese family is unchanged, as would be expected. Can/Have I done anything about it? My relationships with other people here are (for the most part) unchanged, save a need for catching up. Have I really tried to get to know them? What more can I do? Language is a little behind in not using it, but it hasn't left me. Where do I go from here?

I want to turn these into puzzles and say, "I don't know what to do!" That's the problem, not wanting to go forth and say "change is possible; only look up." It's when I mistake the highest thing for looking in the mirror that I actually lose a sense of self because it's me of me I'm looking at, not from another place. My despair and waning hope bear testament to that.

I'm actually okay, but who likes lessons that bite? Honesty, and strength . . .

Changing rules in the middle of the game?

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 05:22:40 GMT

Now that I've begun again with language studies, it has been a test to try and approach my studies with a knowledge of how I used them outside of the classroom. I feel frustrated in some ways because I know I'm returning to some established routines, but I also know I don't need to view myself as a slave to them. I've been trying to supplement where I can, trying to be open to areas of change, but it's definitely a process.

For example, I still have this notebook full of words, and it's a thought of mine to try and widdle through them, trying to find the words most in-line with the sort of things I care about anyway. It's just . . . the massiveness of it all! At least, my mine makes it look as such, and I know I'm setting up titanium Goliaths for myself. Before I need to leave for ELI's conference in Thailand at the end of the month, I'd like to able to have a better plan for my studies. I'll have three more months of studies after that, then back to the US for the Summer . . . that doesn't feel too long. Good thing I'm having to take these studies a day at a time. My grasp of this different tongue . . . takes time.

Ode to a Routine

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 07:23:08 GMT

Maybe I won't write an ode, but I feel I need some romanticized, impassioned plea towards routines to return back to one. I find the vacation brain to be a peculiar thing at the moment, and I know it struggles to win with the logic, "You're about to take another trip at the end of the month--why try for a routine now???" Tempting reasonings, but will hardly help me in my days.

It was nice to be in Da Lat, but probably a little nicer to step away to cultivate a perspective about Da Lat again now that I've stepped away from my visit. Like I've told folks already, it's difficult to think of what to do for next year when I have good relations with both places. My solution is either to go to neither Ha Noi or Da Lat next year, or simply try to make enemies in either one and choose the one with the least amount! I'm not entirely serious with that, but it'd make choices easier! In a way, Da Lat messed up my heart because of the few students who really cared about seeing me. Not to say that the rest were hateful, but just those hoped-for few who I got to know a little better made understanding things there difficult. One in particular was one who is sort of my Vietnamese sister (there's another like that, too, but I'm referring to another one). She was able to articulate her heart very clearly, and I did, and do, not entirely know what older brother-younger sister relationships are like. I don't believe there's any "hidden agenda" here with her, but just unsolicited care . . . a mystery. I also want to write about interesting, and remaining, distinctions between the North and the South that remain, now that I have perspective enough for both regions to compare with. Helps to live/have lived in different regions.

In other news, you may want to briefly refer to my Xanga page, as I made my final post there. I won't detail the post. I'll just my reasons for leaving Xanga ended up being given a bitter taste in my mouth from the "powers that be" from the Xanga company.

A Saturn!

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 06:06:12 GMT

I just saw on the road a burgundy-colored Saturn sedan, easily the 2003-4 model! Viet Nam has truly become home now! On a sad note, I don't know how long it will last given how people today (actually, on most days) tend to drive like there's a low neurotransmitter count in the synapses of their brain. That to say people here don't know how to drive a car, and I noticed that with several cars just on my ride back home, irrespective of make or model.

Viet Nam's first Saturn, may you rest in peace.

Where am I???

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 06:36:42 GMT

I have other things to process, but I'll use this to process something additional. I just returned from the United Nations International School in Ha Noi and I'm speechless. I think I'm experiencing reverse culture shock. First, I was there because this morning some musicians from the international fellowship played some Christmas songs there during a bazaar that supports people in Viet Nam. All the proceeds go towards that, which can be a potentially super-beneficial thing, but I about had a heart attack in the process of just being there.

Why? Because this school is nnnnnniiiiiiiiicccccccceeeeeeee. Just dig around the website. Within Ha Noi, I used to think Amsterdam was quite te deluxe school, and I believe it still is for a wholly-Vietnamese population. But UNIS (I previously thought it was "Eunice" and I thought, "Oh, yeah, I remember Eunice from Beijing. Malaysian, right?") is indeed international. Apparently, it includes a max of 20% from the total population of internationals represented in the city. There's even Vietnamese here, but these are from extremely presitigious families, mostly political (for what I heard). They were selling various different things, most of which exceeded my price range (although I did get a waffle; was nice), but I did a combination of people watch and just getting struck stupid. I was standing a little from the table for Iran, realizing I had on the wristbands that are supportive of Israel, and I've been confused for someone who's Jewish before. There's also an Israel table, but a little removed. Total cost for a year there? $14,000. I believe that's more than a year at UNCA.

Then, I ride home on the back of a xe om, talking to a man who had to start driving a xe om because his parents no longer could afford his college. Got dropped off next to the normal com rang restaurant where all the children I see there only work there, not able to go to school, and the fruit vendors who are always kneeling there with their fruit. In a lifetime, these people may never make a total of what one year at that school costs. I don't at all say that to ridicule the families who send the children there (if they're simply able to do that, I think any family would want the very best for their children), but . . . how can you shake so STARK a contrast . . . I can't do it.

I could cry.